Looking Forward

There are so many things that I am looking forward to:

1.  Having a potty trained bug number 2
2.  Having a yard...preferably with a fence
3.  Not living on the 2nd story
4.  Not bringing groceries up a flight of stairs
5.  Not being preggers (especially in this heat! yikes!)
6.  Having a wardrobe that 1. I like 2. Consists of more that 10 pieces
7.  Fall and fall things and cool weather
8.  Going to the bathroom by myself

But the reality is that is not my life right now.  Bug number 2 is struggling with potty training.  I am struggling with patience with him.  We don't have a yard, in fact we have a parking lot.  Lame.  Our outside time consists of chalk and bubbles, and walking to the playground or going somewhere else to play.  Won't it be nice to just walk outside and play.  I think so.  We live in a second story condo that we are renting.  (We were 'supposed' to be here for a year max, just passed 2 years here).  I have to bring the groceries up stairs because you have to go upstairs when you get here.  I am preggers and nothing fits well anymore, and after wearing the same clothes for 3 pregnancies in less than 4 years you really start to hate them...REALLY HATE them!  It is not fall or cool but that is coming soon! Yay!  And I probably will never be able to pee by myself in any amount of foreseeable future.

But that is okay.  Right?!  It is okay.  It is okay that things are a little out of control and not exactly how I would have envisioned them.   God is good and bigger than my list (which could have gone on WAY past 8, but I felt the need to stop at some point).  I guess it comes down to choosing to be content with some of the things that are happening in life and trusting that God's plans are perfect.  That's the hard part huh?  Choosing and trusting.  It is much easier to complain and wallow in yuckiness.  I want to cling to God's promises but it isn't always easy.  God will work things out for the good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

I don't think that I was in Paradise today.  

One of those kind of days...

Just what the doctor ordered.  A special thanks to my MIL for providing this special treat.  It was very needed today. 

Summer Heat

Argh!  This summer has been a hot one!  Yuck and it is just getting started.  I feel like we completely missed spring.  The wonderful time when everything is in bloom and pretty and hanging outdoors is enjoyable versus miserable.  You think that I would be able to handle the heat a wee bit better, since I did live in South Florida for almost 4 year.  But not so much.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am preggers and don't have warm weather clothing that fits right now! 

Up the stairs

So this is what ONE shopping trip to Costco and Trader Joe's looks like in my house.  It was 8 trips up the stairs, yes up the stairs.  We live on the second story and that means stairs folk.  It was 8 trips up the stairs with groceries and 2 trips up with bugs (one each).  The kids had fallen asleep in the car and hung out there while I unloaded.  I wish I could say that they napped really well when we got home, but they didn't it was more of a rest time than nap time.  Needless to say I got my workout in for the day!

Do I have to claim her?

My daughter is fun and outgoing. Bug number 1 is a joy to be around....for the most part. Yesterday was not one of those moments. I have never really been embarrassed by her or her behavior, and she has done some CRAZY things in public. Well I was yesterday. It was awful. I never thought that I would feel that toward my little bug. To give you a little background, we have had a very busy month: family in town, bug number 2's birthday, friends in town...go go go. I think that bug number 1 was really starting to feel the pressures of all our craziness. We finally have slowed down, but it is still that game of catch up. We I needed to exchange some shirts that we had gotten her, they were a little small. So my girlfriend-kw and I decide to meet at the store and shop together. It was one of those times where I should have canceled. One of those times where I let my plan for the day override my bugs obvious screams that today should be a home day. But I didn't....

I bundle them up and went out. The car ride there was not one of the more pleasant ones, should have turned around...but I didn't. We got to the store and before we were out of the car and in the stroller, tantrum. We did okay in the store, but towards the end bits of snack and sippy cups were flying. Should have went home immediately...but I didn't. KW and I walked around the plaza to another store, kw had some crafty things to get and I thought that I would join her. Should have went home....see the error. Well we had a full-fledged-knock-down-drag-out-temper-tantrum. Bug number 1 actually HIT a stranger and then told her to 'GO AWAY!' I tried to browse for a few more minutes, but things were getting worse. So I finally turned to my friend and said "I have to leave" and I promptly walked out of the store. YIKES! It's about time I got the message. Needless to say the car ride home was a mess. I was very grateful to be home, give the bugs some food and put them to nap.

Thankfully I know that my bug is only 2 for a year and that this behavior is just a season (and not a regular habit of hers-phew). It is hard in those moments to not lose it completely and chuck something (or someone).

Am I Crazy?

I received an email from a dear friend today asking me that question; am I crazy? Often I ask myself that question as well. There are those moments as Moms where all seems to be complete and utter chaos with no hope of ever returning to civilized life. You know those moments when you would like nothing better to throw your kids out the window! When you haven't showered in a few days, and the only words that you have uttered are "no, no, no!" or "stop that, get down, don't throw!" Those are some of the roughest days. I am always grateful on those days for my girlfriends. The wonderful women in my life who understand what it means to raising children and can empathize with me and don't judge me for my shortcomings. So take a moment and go hang with your girls. Join a book club, get some coffee, join your local MOPS. Find a way to keep yourself centered, so you don't end up throwing your bugs out the window! And no you are not crazy!!